How long can you leave your turn?

Most backgammon is played in one sitting.

But a game can also be played asynchronously, which simply means you each take your turn whenever you have time: a move over breakfast, a reply on the train, the next one tomorrow morning. Nobody has to be free at the same moment, and the board sits waiting in between.

That changes the rhythm of a game, and it raises a question nobody thinks to ask until it comes up: how long is too long to leave someone waiting? There's no rule and no clock. But there is an etiquette, and most of it is obvious once you say it out loud.

A few hours is nothing

A game that runs over days has gaps in it by design. Somebody moves at breakfast, somebody else at lunch. That's not a delay; that's the format working.

Nobody is sitting watching the board. Your move arriving six hours later costs them nothing at all.

A day or two is normal

Life gets busy. A quiet day doesn't mean your opponent has lost interest, and it doesn't need explaining when they come back.

The nice thing about a game with no clock is that you can disappear for a day without letting anyone down. It's one of the few things on your phone that doesn't mind being ignored.

A week starts to feel like something

Somewhere around a week, a pause starts to look like an answer. Not rudeness, usually, just forgetting.

If you're the one who's gone quiet, a move is a better apology than a message. If you're the one waiting, a short nudge is fine: "your turn, no rush" says everything.

The one exception: don't leave mid-drama

A pause lands differently depending on where the game is.

If you've just hit them, closed them out, or doubled, that's a bad moment to vanish for three days. They're sitting with something unresolved, and that's the one pause that does feel pointed.

If you know you're about to be busy, it's kinder to make a quiet move than a dramatic one.

If you're the one waiting

Two useful habits.

First, assume nothing. People go quiet because of work, children, illness and dead phone batteries, almost never because of your last move.

Second, start another game. Two games running means neither of you is ever stuck waiting, and it takes the pressure off both.

When to let a game go

Some games just stop. One of you drifts, the other forgets, and the position sits there for a month. That's allowed. A game that fizzles out isn't a failure, and it doesn't need a verdict. Start a new one whenever you like, and nobody has to apologise for the old one.

The short version

• Hours are nothing. That's the format working.
• A day or two needs no explanation.
• Around a week, a move says more than an apology.
• Don't disappear right after a hit or a double.
• If you're waiting, assume life got in the way. Just start another game.
• Sometimes games fizzle out. Start over.